Chasing Lust

In my life, I have chased lust and I’ve chased it hard; but no matter what boundary I pushed I was always left wanting more. Despite my efforts and willingness to try anything, I was never fully satiated. My body, my biology, understood how to feel good, how to find a physical release if only I could quiet my mind. And so I learned, to take solace in an orgasm; a moment of pleasure amongst a dreary existence.

What I understand now is that chasing lust, a purely physical experience, could never really fulfill me because good as it feels, love changes everything. I am filled with love and light and happiness now; I know, with certainty, that I emanate a confidence and a joy that comes from loving myself and is only strengthened by the love I share with my girlfriend.

I have now experienced the beautiful meeting of love and lust and I know nothing will ever be the same. All those years, I hoped that lust could fill the emptiness that resided in my heart, but I was looking in the wrong place. I needed love, not lust, and there was none in my life.

Every day, I am amazed by the fullness in my heart, the smiles in my soul and my ability to love and be loved by her. Together we chase our collective lust, guided only by our hearts and it is the most soul-shattering, satisfying  thing I’ve ever experienced.

It is a mistake, of colossal magnitude, to think that lust alone is enough.

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